


let's add some flavor

by losestelia



Series: spooky week 2019 [2]
Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: But it's fine!, M/M, Making Out, chair abuse, hyojin has some intimacy problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-05 11:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losestelia/pseuds/losestelia
Summary: “then why am i teaching you how to be sexy?”“is that what we’re doing?”minkyun’s face is right against his now, the hands-on his waist curling and locking across is middle, “wanna do something else?”hyojin wriggles free without much difficulty with a misplaced scowl on his face, “don’t make this weird.”“it wasn’t weird before?”





	let's add some flavor

**Author's Note:**

> happy sunday fuses!!  
spooky week day 2 *confetti canon noises*  
enjoy!

he remembers the first time he and minkyun had done it.

kissed, he means.

back when they were busy with things being set up for their comeback with his days filled with studios and practice rooms. 

it was stupid really. 

they’ve done concepts like this before- that exude a sexy and powerful aura. hyojins decent enough at faking it when he’s dancing, the moves speak for themselves. but in his voice and his manner they fall flat. 

“you don’t have sex appeal hyung.” minkyun told him pointedly after watching him in the mirror, practicing with him was always a bad idea. 

“thanks.” 

minkyun shook his head, “no, i mean the way you move is sexy but the feeling behind it isn’t. your movements speak directly but there’s no suggestion in it.” 

hyojin ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “okay, but how do i do that?”. minkyun just stared at him from his spot leaning against the mirror, his arms crossed nonchalantly, “have you ever had sex, hyung?” 

hyojin scrunches his eyebrows together, “do i need to have had sex to be sexy?”

minkyun rolls his eyes, “i’ll take that as a ‘no’,” he shoves his hands in his pockets and moves closer, “have you ever kissed someone?” 

hyojin scoffed, minkyun raised a finger, “not just pecked in like the 3rd grade, like made out with a person.” 

“i-”

“_ recently _.”

hyojin shut his mouth.

“exactly.” minkyun moved over to the sound system and set the progress bar to the beginning of their song, “you have to dance like you have, hyung.” 

hyojin swallows adjusting his shirt.

minkyun let the song play out and hyojin marks the choreography. before hyojin can get to the chorus he’s walking to pause the music.

“what?” he’s slightly annoyed but only because minkyun hadn’t even let him get to the part he was having trouble with. how much sensuality could be in the first 20 seconds?

he hears minkyun before he sees him, his breath heavy in his ear. the air is spread out over the back of hyojin’s head and he feels a foot taller instead of a couple inches.

“focus your breath here.”

minkyun’s fingers are all hyojin can feel. any other sensations just fade to the back of his mind, everything else is numb like he’d just come from playing in the snow. he won’t question why the first thing minkyun decided to touch was his waist. of all the parts of him that are moving out of wack, he picks the part that's most ticklish. hyojin flinches but tried to get his brain to focus on his own reflection because minkyun inhales like he’s about to speak.

“let your movement flow from here and lead the rest of you. you’re usually pretty good at this, is this choreo difficult?” minkyun has an earnest tone that makes you want to tell him everything. when he talks in the lower range of his voice, when he’s teaching instead of teasing, it makes it impossible not to listen. it’s enchanting how he speaks slowly winding spells of sentences. it’s enchanting the words out of his brain. he fights against the magic.

“you have more trouble than i do.” minkyun leans against him grinning, meeting hyojin’s gaze in the mirror. they look nice together like this if he ignores minkyun’s bodyweight about to push him over. 

“then why am_ i _ teaching _ you _ how to be sexy?”

“is that what we’re doing?” 

minkyun’s face is right against his now, the hands-on his waist curling and locking across is middle, “wanna do something else?” 

hyojin wriggles free without much difficulty with a misplaced scowl on his face, “don’t make this weird.”

“it wasn’t weird before?” 

“the more you remind me this is supposed to be sexual- or err- suggestive, the weirder it is to do it with you.” hyojin says all of this with his back to minkyun, avoiding his gaze and turning his focus to finding a water bottle to drain. minkyun only hums in response so he takes that as a cue to keep talking. it’s not like he could stop, there’s too many thought in his head and if they don’t come out of his mouth they’ll follow him into his dreams. and the last thing he needs is more reasons to lose sleep. 

“because when i think of sex i don’t normally associate it with you, of course- well in a literal sense. i associate it-”

when he turns back to face minkyun he’s flushed red and staring at his feet like they’ll bolt on him. hyojin thinks he’s effectively made it weird in one sharp blow. it’s a talent of his.

“sorry that was a bit-”

“what do you associate it with, hyung?” minkyun’s voice is big and bright like he’s an inch away from him smiling like a psychopath and not kicking imaginary dust off the practice room floor like an 8-year-old.

“fear, anxiety, general terror.” that makes minkyun look up from the wood panels, an interested look on his face. 

“fear?” 

“does sex not scare you?” 

minkyun shakes his head slowly, “why does it scare you?” 

“it makes me- well, i just can’t-” 

hyojin thinks, taking a second to breathe in the stale air and look at the dull walls. the practice room isn’t made for them to have conversations like this in it. it was made for sweat and determination, he and minkyun are basically defiling at the moment. 

it’s too idol-y in here to pour out his heart on his general fear of intimacy.

especially to minkyun of all people. the member that's younger than him, that eats pudding cups without utensils, that wears the same nasty t-shirt for a week straight. 

that guy?

is going to help him understand the warmth of suggestiveness and sensuality… or whatever. try and pull him out of his fear of sexiness somehow? doubtful.

“this isn’t the time for this conversation.” hyojin screws the cap back on his water bottle and walks to the door, “and i don’t think there will ever be a time.” 

hyojin figures that’s a cool enough way to leave and not be questioned any further about it. hyojin is a fan of honestly so he avoids lying when he can by just not answering at all. diversion is a type of lying, some would argue(seungjoon would _ definitely _ argue) but you can’t hold him to that in court.

minkyun lets him have his grand entrance and his peace.

for exactly 3 hours.

_ meet me at my studio at midnight. i’ll teach you. _

first, minkyun does actually _ have _ a studio. it’s just a practice room in the company that he completely took over with all his equipment and cat trinkets. second, midnight? really? the concept of teaching him how to be sexy by groping him is already incredibly cliche, adding the forbidden kiss of darkness is well enough. it’s not like midnight is that late anyway- by their standards at least. third, teach him _ what _? like clearly it’s about the “sexy” thing but how do you teach that in minkyun’s crowded little non-studio? it can’t even be that minkyun just wants to bang him(he wouldn’t risk damaging his fancy tec) it would be easier to take him to a hotel. their money's good enough where minkyun could afford to have something cushy. hyojins only a little insulted that(if he is trying to get in his pants) he couldn't even take him somewhere nice.

question four: why does he still feel like going anyway? he's risking minkyun making a pass at him in a very serious way. why is he standing outside of minkyun’s studio in the dark corridor of the wm building? 

so many questions, no answers.

hyojins not sure how he feels about possibly just being groped by minkyun in his dark and semi soundproof room that doesn't really lock considering just about everyone has a key. he knows minkyun wouldn’t touch him like that without permission, that's not what he’s worried about. he’s worried that in the moment when minkyun looks at him with those eyes that pierce like hot irons and asks him is he can have it all, hyojin will give it up.

it’s hard to tell now how he’ll react if that moment comes. it’s hard to tell is he would even react at all.

being aloof is a skill hyojin prides himself on. never too excited about anything and when he is it’s quickly sedated by his general unwillingness to waste energy. he thinks it’s fine, the way he acts. it’s gotten him through some tough spots and helped him brave the loneliness of idol life better than most. there are relapses late at night when the emptiness of his bed gets kind of overwhelming. in those moments hyojin brings his hand up to his lips and presses, like he’s kissing someone invisible. hyojin makes love to invisible people often, genderless memories that sometimes smell like people he’s known. 

they might have seungjoon’s hands, jaeyoung’s arms, and changyoon’s soft skin. they might taste like sugar and smell like expensive cologne. 

it could just be one person he can’t get out of his head some nights.

they sometimes smell like minkyun.

in his head, they sometimes sound like him too. 

on those nights he wonders if minkyun might really be in front of him, on top of him, touching and whispering. 

hyojin knows it’s impossible but that doesn’t make him un-think it.

that's part of the fear of intimacy, he supposes. not being able to control or undo those little relapses in indifference. once you've given yourself to someone there's no getting those parts back. feelings die once they leave you, they die and are made insincere by others. or maybe hyojins just really fucking cynical.

in the midst of it he feels emotions in him swarming like near-sighted bees in highway traffic. he trains them to stay there when the sun comes up. for the past 25 years he's dealt with bee stings, over and over he hurts himself like an idiot on his hundred confusing emotions. is he wrong for getting tired of it? not all feelings need to be shared.

in the end, he just ended up creating more problems for himself, making indifference a default is difficult to undo. fountains are easy to stop up but not so easy to let go afterward without flooding everything that's grown complacent without the rippling in the pond, hyojin supposes. and now he’s dug himself a big hyojin-sized grave to take his confusion to. all the musings on his fear of intimacy, his sexuality, every tiny attraction or dream about a cute guy in a drama jaeyoung made him watch. or even jaeyoung himself when he looks at him just right. is he gay or bi or ace or just really really straight? maybe it’s wrong for him to use minkyun as an experiment of sorts, let him decide whether all these grey-toned feelings that crush heavy on his throat might get slightly clearer. and if he doesn’t get his answers then at least he can say he did it with park minkyun. 

whatever _ it _ is.

at least he’ll have a frame of reference for his next nameless almost lover.

he’s indifferent to most things and that’s why he can’t figure out how to be naked in front of someone without crying, fainting, or just going absolutely manic.

the door suddenly opens and hyojin’s eyes are still glazed over in thought when he tries to look at minkyun. he’s in a big black t-shirt rolled up at the arms and an unforgiving pair of joggers. they hug everything a little tighter than minkyun’s usually dress pants or flannel- he didn’t even know minkyun _ had _ thighs like that. 

“you wanna come him?” 

hyojin’s heartbeat thunders suddenly like an approaching storm- oh _ god _, impending doom.

“yeah.” 

past the threshold things are thicker, warmer. a cat-shaped humidifier sits in the corner by the lamp(the only source of light) throwing steam around the room. minkyun has pulled up another chair to sit next to his bigger, ceo like one. minkyun’s already sat down, typing something on his computer when hyojin settles uncomfortably into his seat. the more he thinks about minkyun groping him in this chair the harder it is to relax while sitting in it. 

“hyung?”

hyojin blinks the thoughts out of his head, “yeah?” 

minkyun types slowly without taking his eyes off the screen, “i couldn’t ask you properly earlier but, why does sex scare you? it’s just like-” 

hyojin huffs, “whatever you’re about to compare sex to i don’t wanna hear it.” 

minkyun just dips his head in acknowledgment and waits for an answer. 

his answer isn’t drawn back to any childhood trauma or toxic relationship. there's no breadcrumb trail in the depths of his mind leading to the one all-powerful reason for him being- well, broken when it comes to intimate relationships. 

he wants it but when he goes to say the word, to sleep around and get his fix- he can’t make himself do it.

“it’s difficult- there's not one reason, i guess. it’s just me being weird.” the click-clacking of minkyun’s keyboard fills in their silences, hyojin is grateful. 

“it’s not weird to think sex is scary, it is kinda scary when you think about it.” minkyun muses slowly, words just tumble out of his mouth like honey dripping from the lip of teacup. hyojin usually zones out mid-sentence when he does that but he’s hyper-focused on everything in the room and even if minkyun spoke a word a minute he would stick around to hear the end. 

“everything is scary when you contemplate it long enough, kyun. and i’m not scared of sex i’m scared of-” the words get caught on his tongue because he’s an idiot, the words aren’t forbidden he can say it out loud. 

“intimacy.” 

minkyun’s mouth makes a cute little ‘o’ and the tips of his ears warm red, hyojin tried to school his expression but minkyun looks cute when he’s flustered. to kiss that look of his face would be such a pleasure. 

“define intimacy.” 

“i dunno, like uh-”

“vulnerability?” minkyun tilts his head like a puppy, hyojin might have a meltdown.

“no, like. well, yeah? i guess, being vulnerable in front of someone in- well, in a sexual way most of the time.” hyojin says the sentence eloquently enough, proud that he stuck the landing in explaining his feelings for once. it's hard to clearly explain something not even you understand.

“what about sex and vulnerability scares you so much?” 

hyojin opens his mouth without letting himself filter out the questionable parts of the answer, without overthinking his next move in a game of (fucked up)chess, “giving up my virginity because i can never get it back.” 

minkyun stares at him.

hyojin stares back, he’s a fish being choked with his eyes probably popping out. 

_ did the word ‘virginity’ actually leave his mouth? _

“oh my god-”

“no it’s-”

“why am i _ telling _ you all of this anyway? i’m sorry for taking this off-topic.”

minkyun quirks an eyebrow, “we had a topic?” 

“you said you had something to teach me.”

minkyun’s hands still on the keyboard and he leans back so the chair cracks and creaks. he doesn’t say anything for longer than a few seconds and hyojin takes that time to repress the last couple words they exchanged into the box in his mind labeled “you really fucking said that”. 

cause he really fucking said that.

“i really just wanted to talk to you.” minkyun shrugs, closing his laptop and swiveling around in a circle. hyojin just watches him spin, eye twitching. 

“you could’ve just said you wanted to talk.” minkyun keeps spinning his smiling face a blur and hyojin has to stop watching cause he’s starting to get dizzy.

“you wouldn't have come if i said that.”

hyojin snorts, “you’re such a creep, kyun.” 

hyojin doesn’t mean it in a bad way. he’s always staring over at him and saying cheesy lines at him. it’s just him being forward, hyojin appreciates the honesty. he wonders if minkyun even means everything he does, all the little passes he’s made at him. maybe this is just minkyun’s way of being aloof, this is his indifference complex. 

“at least i’m not a virgin.” 

hyojin sticks his heel to kick the chair away which successfully sends minkyun spiraling to the floor. he looks up at him with eyeballs still rolling around in his head, he looks awfully funny but hyojins too busy being intimidating to laugh. 

“cheap shot.” 

minkyun climbs back into his chair, a good inch or two farther from him than he was before, “too easy to pass up.” 

they just sit there laughing for a while at the air. he thinks they both know if they stop making this into a joke they won’t have to mention that this is a suspicious situation they’ve gotten themselves into. 

minkyun is staring at him again, hyojin tried to avoid it because he knows what he’s about to say, he can feel the words festering and baking in minkyun’s throat. and hyojin can barely hold in his answer long enough for minkyun to work up the courage to speak. 

“can i-” 

hyojin can’t let him finish, can’t even let himself start. he just stands up so quickly his chair stutters across the floor. minkyun is so stupid, he's dense and naive and he _ hates _him so much for being so himself. without fear, he stands his ground and is persistent in his goals. he's not indifferent or untruthful- he's pure -and even when he knows minkyun is more experienced. that's not what purity is. 

not to him. 

hyojin isn't pure, even when he locks up his virginity and chucks the key into the han river, his mind is mucky. maybe it's because he's older.

maybe it's because-

hyojin has run out of places to go.

he stands over minkyun, his eyelids heavy and he might faint any second. everything in him is divided between kissing minkyun and bursting out crying. hyojin covers his face with his burning palms and makes an awful choking sound. it's embarrassing and loud especially since minkyun hasn't said anything since the last thing he said which still feels like it's echoing. his words unfinished but hyojin already knew.

"hyojin." his name ends suddenly in minkyun's mouth. no honorific to follow it. he pushes his face harder into his palms trying to suffocate himself. minkyun's fingertips flutter on the back of his thigh before deciding to pull him gently closer.

hyojin's knees start to buckle and bend.

he's too close he-

"hyojin." 

his name is so _ loud _around him.

"i can't." hyojin squeaks between his fingers.

"can't what?" his voice barely above a whisper, his fingers still pressing him in.

hyojin settles his weight in minkyun's thighs and the chair creaks beneath them. with his luck, the whole thing will just snap in half.

"i can't- minkyun. _ pleas_e _ i'm gonna die _." it comes out in an exhale, his voice cracks like twice. hyojin might be crying but also might be laughing. this is the vulnerability he feared. having to put yourself out there and make it clear that a piece of you can be taken. he’s in a pretty glass case with a ‘sale’ tag pinned to his chest, afraid of being bought.

“look at me.” minkyun whispers at the wall of hyojin’s hands, the only thing keeping him from breaking down at the sight of minkyun’s eyes.

his vision is blurry when he moves his hands away.

minkyun’s face is coming into focus. he isn’t smiling or laughing at him. he’s barely moving- his hands might be moving, actually. up his thigh and crooking his fingertips in the pocket of his jeans. he feels them ride a bit low in his hips. his heart stumbles around and his hand fumbled for something. hyojin's hands grip onto minkyun's shoulders like the edge of a sinking ship. 

it's dramatic.

but minkyun doesn't say anything about it.

he just leans into minkyun's touch with a little quirk in his lip.

minkyun’s other hand slid beneath his ear and carded through some of his hair. hyojin mimicked, his fingers unsteady. minkyun’s hair was still longer than considered manageable, smooth strands pulled out of his face even as summer waned slowly into fall. it feels slightly damaged but it’s a million times silkier at the roots.

he just stares at him.

this moment that he's been dreading(anticipating) is here. minkyun is asking him if he can cross the line. asking if he can erase it and draw a circle around only them. 

part of him wants to pull away. to laugh. to run. to set himself on fire.

but he doesn't. hyojin closes his eyes. he just kisses him.

no sense of relief washes over him, nothing starts to make sense. but it's easier to find an answer once you start.

he's beginning.

minkyun presses back instantly and eagerly, hyojin can't help but whimper because he's weak. so _ weak _ and minkyun knows that too well. and instead of filling him with terror, like it usually would, that thought puts him at ease.

he knows minkyun and minkyun knows him.

_ don't hide. _

hyojin really doesn’t like kissing. 

he always feels like he’s moving too much or too little, going too far or lagging behind the rhythm. it’s hard to know when to break away and when to just keep kissing until your face turns blue. he can’t feel sparks or fire usually when he kisses people. just feels like skin and tastes like humanity. even his imaginary lovers don’t kiss him that much, they tend to lean more toward touching him other places. 

kissing minkyun feels like being dragged into the ocean by your ankles. losing all control as you flounder into the tide, it’s not magical. it’s definitely an experience though. minkyun has his hands all over him already. on his inner thighs, the back of his neck, flirting with the waistband of his track pants. 

hyojins trying his best to keep up. a palm holding onto his waist, and his other weaving in and out of his hair. minkyun’s mouth opens and hyojin hesitantly follows, this is usually where most things hyojin’s done ends. minkyun is a patient and knowledgeable teacher. his arm gives out and slips out of his hair, strands sliding through his fingers. hyojin lets it fall, pressing into the nape of his neck. he thinks he’s doing okay, and minkyun isn’t protesting either. he even sighs when hyojin’s nails brush at his skin. he just wants to be closer. he just wants him closer.

minkyun’s hands are resting between the dimples in his spine with a few fingertips dipped behind the waistband of his underwear, but he's pressing into him, pushing me closer, and it’s…

_ it’s _…

minkyun whimpers against his lips and he pulls back with a gasp.

"you okay?" hyojin sputters (he doesn’t have any _ earthly idea _ why he said it(time to break out the “you really fucking said that” box again)). he’s so out of breath, and still _ so _ pressed against minkyun, sitting right in his lap like a shameless teenager and not someone who works out their sexual frustration in his imagination in private like a _ fucking adult _, and...

"what," minkyun says, and he feels his hand pull slightly out of his jeans. 

"i- uh- dunno." there's heat rising in his cheeks, he’s sure of it, and it only gets worse when he remembers minkyun has done all of this before. well not this part, assuming minkyun’s sexual partners we’re all competent and not complete imbeciles. 

"right," minkyun mumbles, and he starts to scoot back in the chair. trying to make room for hyojin to be able to get off.

"no, don't. i didn't mean. um. holy fuck."

minkyun’s hands are still riding low on his hips, and minkyun can definitely feel him. it's not like his worn-out skinny jeans are leaving much to the imagination. and, well. he can feel him, too, beneath the cling wrap material of his joggers, and if he didn’t have a talent for dissociating hyojin might be in tears on the floor right about now. he can feel his heartbeat everywhere, loud and fast and hard and _ fuck _ . he feels like he's evaporating into thin air. like he's weightless and boneless and generally _ less _ of everything he was. those parts of him crawl into the vent and away because they couldn’t fucking _ take it _ in here. it’s not like he blames them, he’s really burning alive right now. 

hyojin doesn’t have a clue what to say. 

so he kisses him again instead. 

he kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him, and everything is fire- his mouth and his heart and low in his belly, between his legs. and it feels a million types of good he can't even begin to explain with words or analogies. it feels like eating marshmallows and laughing so hard his stomach hurts. it smells like coffee and tastes like the untraceable tastes of humanity. he’s making noises he doesn’t claim into minkyun’s mouth, and minkyuns echoing them, soft noises vibrating against his tongue. he untangles his fingers from minkyun’s hair and takes to kneaded into the padding around his hips, gripping onto his hip bones, and completely melting. 

_ i want him _\- he realizes. not in the way wants company or the kisses on his neck from phantoms to be real, not like sexual frustration. he wants him like two magnets just want to touch. drawn in and stuck to the feeling. 

these are feelings he hasn’t had to reign in in a long time.

kissing is one thing- kissing minkyun specifically is a pretty low hurdle he’s always trying to kiss him anyway -but what about the rest? would he be able to handle anything else? is this where this strange rush of confidence runs out, is this as far as he’ll ever be able to go with someone? minkyun’s fingers dig into his thighs and he breaks the kiss this time. he throws back his head and huffs out his breaths, hyojin just watches his throat contract and adam’s apple bob. he doesn’t want to be done with whatever this is just yet. he’s itching to see how far he can push it. this is the first time he's really _ wanted _ to.

“we can’t do all of this here, hyung” he says. his voice is quiet, and low, and _ god _.

he considers bolting and walking back to the dorm looking like this. christ, how embarrassing if seungjoon does that psychic best friend thing he does and figures out he tongue fucked minkyun’s mouth for- hyojin looks up at the clock on the wall -almost an hour.

(his phones probably blowing up wherever it is.)

“yeah,” hyojin breathes, swallowing. (his voice is kind of low, too.) “yeah, alright. you’re right.”

it takes a bit of maneuvering to get out of the chair without completely tipping it over or breaking an arm but, he’s finally free. hyojin looks around the room for his phone trying not to look frantic to leave even though he is. he’s not embarrassed or suddenly regretful, it’s just not good for them to be in the same room anymore. 

it seems things like this will just keep happening. 

"why haven’t we done that before?" minkyun laughs and he laughs too but he’s not really sure if he's joking. 

so what now.

“i’ll just-” hyojin point to the door.

“okay...” minkyun crosses his legs, probably because hyojin was staring right between them like a fucking predator, “i’ll be out in a sec then we can go home?” 

“yeah.” hyojin backs up until his ass hits the doorknob, “i’ll be outside.” 

he flies behind the door slamming it shut. the sound echoing in the hallway that's(thankfully) empty. 

so what now.

hyojin doesn't wait for minkyun to come outside, can't stand knowing what he might be doing in there. and it isn't until he's halfway down the street of their building that it occurs to him he should've at least shot minkyun a text. 

_ went home. _

it's an unnecessary text. of course he went home, he didn't go to spain. hyojin is just desperately trying to get away.

maybe he should go to spain

* * *

the album is released and promotions have started, he’s only messed up a few times but generally kept his head on straight and gained minkyun’s compliments.

minkyun. 

hyojin’s been thinking about minkyun, been thinking a lot in general. 

hyojin’s been thinking that kisses are sort of like condiments. a little is nice and makes everything better. little kisses to the members when they’ve done well or are sick in bed, the affections warm up his head just a little. like some spicy mustard on a corndog. too much, like mountains of hot sauce on a little cracker, is a tad overwhelming. hyojin measures kisses in length of the kiss and not the quantity of kisses. minkyun could kiss him all i've this face and he wouldn't feel the burning, searing, that he felt that night. and the night after that…and over and over again they met. in the same place and the same place so why is he sitting in minkyun’s studio again explaining to him that his kisses are like fucking _ food _. 

don’t ask him.

he doesn’t know anything.

"that doesn't make _ any _ sense, hyung."

hyojin's heart sinks a couple miles beneath the earth's surface and burst into flame.

"but i explained it so well." minkyun laughs, tipping his head back to the headrest of the chair. it was late, too late at night to even comprehend the abstracts of the feelings hyojin is describing. but late enough for hyojin to feel like he has to describe them. the dorm was quiet, the two of them occupying the common area, all the doors to the bedrooms closed to them.

“just listen to me, okay.” minkyun settles closer to hyojin, “i have no clue what you just said, but if you think making out with me is somehow like a corndog covered in relish-”

“a mini cheeseburger.” hyojin interrupts

“_ whatever _, we don’t have to do it anymore. it’s not like you need me to teach you anything else, i think you understand sensuality well enough.”

hyojin’s heart thumped and thrashed in his heart like a cat being bathed, like it was trying to claw out of his chest. he hates when minkyun made him feel like this. like swallowing a tablespoon of mustard. 

“so why me?” minkyun says after a while, fiddling with a loose thread on his flannel, “why did you choose to make out with me instead of the other hundred gajillion people you could have kissed, why would you keep coming back to me.”

hyojin hums like he needs to think, but of course he doesn’t, “well first, you were closest to me at the moment.” that earns him a pinch on his upper thigh, “and _ second _-”

the second reason is on the tip of his tongue and it’s be so easy to nonchalantly spit it out 

_ hyojin just say it, you can do it. _

“and i’m kind of attracted to you- in this context.” 

that’s not how he thought it out in his head but it sounds good enough out in the air. the words just sit there for a second with minkyun staring at him, unmoving. his pout deepening every passing second the words grow stale in front of them. 

“i mean-”

“you’re attracted to me? is that what that condiments thing was supposed to tell me?” he seemed genuinely confused and hyojin’s head hurts. he hates fucking similes or metaphors or _ whatever _ godforsaken part of figurative language this was. 

“i- i don’t know.” 

“you don’t know?” minkyun crosses his arms and grins, it quiets the panic alarms and halts the impending heart attack. 

“i’m just really overwhelmed right now.” ‘overwhelmed’ is the only word he can think of that at least vaguely describes “i tried to confess to you in a super artsy way and now you’re confused and now i’m confused and now everyone’s fucking confused oh no” in one word.

“overwhelmed like too much mustard on a sandwich?” 

“that wasn’t even one of the examples i ga-”

minkyun places a kiss square on hyojin's lips. hyojin flinched suddenly making minkyun flinch, and the force knocks whatever setting on this poor chair that makes it recline all the way back. his head narrowly kisses the desk and minkyun catches puts his palms out to buffer hyojin’s fall. 

"minkyun how-" 

"no idea." he responds halfheartedly before connecting their lips again, softer this time. he’d protest if his brain was doing anything but just giddily jumping around his skull going, _ again! again! again! _

minkyun’s fingertips brush past the highs points of his cheek, hyojin tries to lean in closer without completely shattering the chair. after they've found a rhythm, he can't begin to figure out what to do. his brain resets back to his lonely nights, how his brain worked then, when he didn't understand who he wanted to kiss. he kind of doesn't really understand now. his hand moves a bit more up minkyun’s shirt on their own feeling the skin glide like silk beneath his fingers. would anyone else make his heartbeat like this? would anyone else's skin feel like this? or is minkyun the only one that can do that for him? 

he thinks he has an answer now.

after practicing the dance with that overwhelming feeling minkyun gave him behind his moves, he learned the difference between nervous energy and desire. he learned that simply kissing anyone didn’t make him shiver, it wasn’t about the act. vulnerability, intimacy- are all made easier when the body in front of you is familiar. it was about the person.

so sure, kisses were like condiments. making everything better with a little and making you choke on the flavors with a lot. and sure, that's probably the shittiest metaphor he’s ever come up with to date _ but _, it describes how he feels about minkyun better than anything. 

his life was bland before.

minkyun breaks the kiss, tilting his head down so their foreheads meet. 

“this is really fun.” he whispers it into the air and hyojin hopes minkyun knows those words are true.

“so do you just want to- just, like, keep doing it?” minkyun shifts in the chair to get a better look at him, making hyojin bounce a little. his hair flops into his so minkyun is covered by a blob of darkness. it’s easier to say things like this when he can’t see his reaction anyway.

“minkyun, you’re like condiments. a little of you is nice but not enough, and a lot of you makes me feel like i’m gonna choke and die- in a good way of course.” minkyun snorts but doesn’t say anything, “so i- yeah, i do wanna keep kissing you. i like being overwhelmed.”

minkyun’s fingers come into view and clear his bangs from his view, leaving the hand on his face. hyojin just stares and minkyun stares back, he knows he shouldn't blush as hard as he does when minkyun whispers-

“you’re really pretty.” 

“shut up.” he pushes minkyun back down onto the headrest. 

and amidst their laughter.

the chair finally gives out.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hey...why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
> 
> ...
> 
> he didn’t have any guts!  
~🎃~


End file.
